Leave those strawberries alone! War on Strawberries: Part 1

16 Jun

It’s strawberry season! June 18, right at the peak. All across North America and Britain, shoppers are enjoying bargain-basement prices on strawberries at their local grocery stores. Entire pints for only $1.99!

What will you do with all those strawberries? Eat them plain, savouring their delicious summery flavour?

An image of a basket of strawberries, looking delicious.

Image via FanPop.

No. You will chop them up, process them, coat them in sugar. Basically, you will mutilate them until they resemble the processed crap you eat the rest of the year. No strawberry left behind.

An image of a strawberry turned into a santa hat with white icing and sprinkles.

Why embrace summer, when you can harken back to the frigid days of Christmas? Shudder. The massacre continues:

Gah! This vaguely reminds me of the aliens in Prometheus. Anyone else?

An pin of strawberries with 4 incisions, making space for a dollop of some sort of cream in the middle.

You know, in medieval times, being quartered was a form of execution reserved for only the most severe crimes. What did strawberries ever do to you?

One Response to “Leave those strawberries alone! War on Strawberries: Part 1”

  1. Honey August 26, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

    It is kind of creepy how as soon as strawberries enter her house my stepmother insists they be chopped up and covered in sugar.

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